Peeling Off The Sin Inside

21/11/13

God i come to U this morning, with a sinning heart at hand.. hmmhhh feel so bad for the thing i choose to do.. not apparently bcoz what i did but i know exactly why i did it.. and it has made me mocked by the evil desire in me again.. last night i was killing time before sleep and i chat with a stranger.. it turns out to be another flirting chat.. glad it didn't go further coz i know where the river flows... hmmmhhhh i can't deny what was in my heart was so called evil.. and so it's hard to see U this morning... hmmmmmhhhh but God, i'm sorry... a heart that really loves U won't have that kind of evil desire, can't even be corrupted by them.. hmmhhhh... then i know just where my heart is.. 

"remember, u choose to stop too.." i kind of hear something like that speaking in my heart.. i wonder whose voice is that.. was something else trying to intimidate me that God says that, or was it what? but hearing that lightens the burden placed..  whatever, no matter what, it is not an excuse.. i was wrong and is in desperate need of being driven by God away from the dark forest of dead that i know is still hiding somewhere within me.. or shall we burn them down...

hmmhh i so see that how my heart feels can change in an instant.. i'm so aware of how i measure my deeds and count whether i deserve or not.. what a foolish thinking.. can't u understand that it is all grace that u lived?! no matter how much good can never make u better, nor can much bad make u a bit worse!! Dad, it is grace to even call U Dad.. why can't i get it!! i get annoyed at myself.. hmmmhhhh thou i'm not at place to be i know, i'm sorry.. but it's just.. hmmmhhhhh annoying!! i'm sorry God for anger has build in me, i need U, please help me resolve myself... hmmmmmhhhhhhh... make this proud heart weary away, i'm tired of holding it... :,(

Ps 75:10 Amplified bible

All the horns of the ungodly also will i cut off (says the Lord), but the horns of the (uncompromisingly) righteous shall be exalted.

if righteous equals to uncompromising, the i'm unrighteous.. coz i tend to so much compromise.. hmmmhhhh that's the root of undiscipline which cause all chaoses in my life.. hmmhhhh... as crazy as can be..

PS for my soul: UNCOMPROMISINGLY RIGHTEOUS