18/11/13
hmm just realized as i dig deeper.. ternyata berhalanya bukan ipad or c Vi.. it's just pelarian, apa yg kelihatan di permukaan, including my cravings for good foods alias kedagingan.. berhala yg sesungguhnya adalah kehendak tel sendiri.. my own desire has driven me away from His presence and as my heart longed for evil passion (worldly offerings), i didn't realize that at the same time i pushed away holy passion (heavenly offerings).. pantesan, i started to become inconvinient with christian music and started seeking world music instead (bosan dgn musik2 rohani).. berarti pr berikutnya, kehendak apa yg sebenernya tel inginkan sih yang tidak sesuai dengan apa yg Tuhan mau?
hmm just realized as i dig deeper.. ternyata berhalanya bukan ipad or c Vi.. it's just pelarian, apa yg kelihatan di permukaan, including my cravings for good foods alias kedagingan.. berhala yg sesungguhnya adalah kehendak tel sendiri.. my own desire has driven me away from His presence and as my heart longed for evil passion (worldly offerings), i didn't realize that at the same time i pushed away holy passion (heavenly offerings).. pantesan, i started to become inconvinient with christian music and started seeking world music instead (bosan dgn musik2 rohani).. berarti pr berikutnya, kehendak apa yg sebenernya tel inginkan sih yang tidak sesuai dengan apa yg Tuhan mau?
i feel better today coz i know, no matter what, my God is on my side.. yesterday i just realized something and it has lighten my heart.. :D As i said all these time that God is perfect, i just knew the word but have not realize what the word perfect itself define.. it means He is best among all i have seen on earth, naming God is more kind than c Vi, more protective than koko, cares me more than they both, understands me more than they both.. hmm that somehow has drawn tears and a smiling face on me.. all i need i in Him and all the ones on earth r just minor reflection of who He really is.. all these times i haven't known my God just yet.. i'll seek Him to know him better than today..
yesterday i also come to think that Christmas is near, crazy to realize how another year has passed without something extraordinary happening throughout the year.. hmmhh and as i always did, my first meter was achievements.. -.-" that way my heart has become weary and close to being sad again.. but in that instant i was reminded, what is my destiny? it isn't just for fame, not for medals, but to know God.. so the only meter i should use to measure the year is do i know God more this year? do i know God more this day.. my mind has given out so many worldly measurements that confuses my heart or vice versa, whatsoever.. but the Spirit is One and true.. so have i known more of God? In a constant matter no, and that's what my eye should set upon, a heart work of a lifetime..
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